


it's you i can't deny

by Suicix



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alcohol, Implied/Referenced Sex, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Jackson could probably take care of himself, is the thing. Jinyoung just – wants to. He wants to make sure that Jackson doesn’t fall asleep in his clothes and that he drinks enough water and that he sleeps OK. And he wants that because he wants other things, things he can’t have, but he isn’t going to think about that. Hecan’tthink about that, not when it would be so easy to fall into it right now because they’re drunk. Not when it would be so easy to blame it on the alcohol afterwards.





	it's you i can't deny

**Author's Note:**

> fan meet information: jackson and jinyoung go to wine bars together  
> me: WOW now there's a fic if ever i saw one

They arrive back at the dorm late, late enough that no-one else there is probably even still awake. Jinyoung keeps the lights off in the lounge as they make their way through, Jackson clutching at his arm all the while, loudly whispering at him to _ssshhh, Jinyoung-ah,_ even though he’s the one making the noise. Jinyoung guides them through to Jackson’s bedroom, so grateful that the rest of the dorm stays quiet. He doesn’t fancy facing the wrath of a barely awake Jaebum.

So. Jackson’s room. Jinyoung flips the light switch and narrows his eyes at the sudden brightness; Jackson, on the other hand, actually yelps at it.

“Are you trying to wake up the whole building?” Now it’s Jinyoung’s turn to tell Jackson to be quiet. “Get ready for bed. I’ll get you some water.”

Jackson just grunts in response and lies back on his bed. That’s better than most of the other possible answers, Jinyoung supposes. At least it won’t wake anyone up. Jinyoung sighs: Jackson’s drunker than he is, and by quite a bit. It’s only right that Jinyoung takes care of him.

(Jackson could probably take care of himself, is the thing. Jinyoung just – wants to. He wants to make sure that Jackson doesn’t fall asleep in his clothes and that he drinks enough water and that he sleeps OK. And he wants that because he wants other things, things he can’t have, but he isn’t going to think about that. He _can’t_ think about that, not when it would be so easy to fall into it right now because they’re drunk. Not when it would be so easy to blame it on the alcohol afterwards.)

Jinyoung heads to the kitchen – slower than normal, hand on the wall to keep himself steady though he doesn’t really need to: it’s more of a precaution than anything – and finds two glasses that have been drying on the rack to fill up. His head spins as he waits there, trying to focus on what he can remember of the night.

The noise of the bar, how it felt like they were in their own world in their booth despite it. The endless things that Jackson proposed they drink to, everything from their general success to the very smallest details of the room, all the little things that came together to make it a good evening. The rough edge to Jackson’s voice as he leaned across and murmured _take me home, then_ when Jinyoung said they should be getting back. The taxi home, Jackson leaning against Jinyoung’s shoulder the whole ride back, cackling into the crook of his neck, half singing random bits of songs before dissolving into laughter again. Jinyoung let an arm wind around Jackson and held him there, wanting the moment to last, wishing they could stay like that, carefree in the back of a taxi cab as the city zipped by around them, nightlife neon reflected back at Jinyoung in Jackson’s eyes and the glow of his skin.

The second glass almost overflows into the sink because he isn’t paying attention, but he shuts the tap off just in time. It’s full to the brim, so Jinyoung lifts it out of the sink and drinks. That can be his glass.

He’s even more careful than before on his way back, kicking the bedroom door open because his hands are full. Jackson’s still on his bed, and he’s managed to take his socks off, though that’s all.

“Hey.” Jinyoung sets the glasses down on Jackson’s nightstand and sits on the bed. He pokes Jackson in the side. “Thought I told you to get ready for bed.”

“I’m on the bed,” Jackson says simply. “I’m ready.” He smiles, like he thinks he’s being clever, and Jinyoung rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but smile, too.

“You know what I meant,” Jinyoung tells him. “Cleaning your teeth, taking your clothes off…”

“Taking my clothes off?” Jackson sits up a little and throws a hand over his heart, joking. “Park Jinyoung, I can’t believe you’d ask such things of me!”

Jinyoung can. Not that he thinks he’ll ever get it, or that he could even stand to articulate it, but – he can. There are nights when what helps him get to sleep is wishful thinking about Jackson beside him and Jackson’s lips on his. Evenings when what relieves his stress is thoughts of Jackson straddling his lap on the couch or Jackson underneath him on one of their beds. And Jackson isn’t wearing clothes in a lot of those fantasies. What’s there for Jinyoung not to believe?

“Just take your clothes off,” Jinyoung says, monotone. “Don’t make me do it for you.”

“… And if I wanted that?” Jackson wonders, and Jinyoung’s heart freezes in his chest, only able to start beating again when Jackson grins. Still joking, then. “OK, OK.”

He reaches for his belt and undoes it, and then pulls his top off over his head. It gets caught on the necklace he’s wearing: the triangle cut from a bigger shape, one of seven, the same triangle that Jinyoung’s wearing under his shirt. Jinyoung’s one is hardly seen – it doesn’t always match his clothes, isn’t his style – but he still wears it underneath. It’s important to him even if it isn’t visible. Not everything has to be.

“Let me.” Jinyoung sorts it out, tucking the chain inside Jackson’s shirt so it’s out of the way. “There.” He tries his best not to let his gaze linger on Jackson’s chest, just takes the shirt and folds it up and then does the same with Jackson’s jeans when Jackson finally gets rid of them, too. “Bathroom now, OK? I’ll come with you.”

He leads them to the bathroom and they wash their faces, clean their teeth. Jackson’s a lot quieter than earlier, like some of the buzz has worn off. Jinyoung watches him in the mirror above the sink and closes his eyes when he feels himself starting to stare. When he opens them again, he looks down at the water swirling down the plughole in the sink instead.

“Hey.” Jackson nudges Jinyoung with his elbow. “Are you OK?”

Jinyoung looks back up at the mirror, and then at Jackson. Jackson’s concern matches his reflection’s, because of course it does. Shit, maybe Jinyoung’s drunker than he thought. Just a bit.

“Sure,” Jinyoung says. “I’m fine.” He smiles, tight, and Jackson seems to accept it.

It’s not long before they’re back in Jackson’s room and Jackson’s under the duvet. Jinyoung holds out the water to him.

“Here – drink.” Jackson drinks, and Jinyoung puts the glass back. “Don’t complain at me when you’re hungover in the morning. I tried to warn you off those last couple of glasses.” He runs a hand through Jackson’s hair, just because he can. Just because it feels appropriate. “Goodnight, Jackson.”

Jinyoung’s about to turn, about to pick up his own glass of water and walk out and go to his own room, but–

“You should sleep here.”

There’s something so casual about the way Jackson says it, his voice raw and husky and thick with alcohol. Something in his eyes, a hopeful glow that reminds Jinyoung of the bright city lights and the cab journey home and wanting to stay in the same space as Jackson for as long as he can.

And that’s something Jinyoung could have if he stays here.

“All right,” he says. He strips to his underwear and folds up his clothes like he did with Jackson’s. He tries not to think too much about the fact that Jackson’s looking at him as he does, eyes wide and a little glassy. It’s something close to the way Jinyoung would have looked at him had he not been able to stop himself, and that – Jinyoung doesn’t even know what to do with that.

He gets into bed next to Jackson, drunk and mostly naked with his heart beating so hard, so loud. Jackson doesn’t say anything, just pulls him in close, and who would Jinyoung be if he didn’t let that happen? He goes with it, letting Jackson’s arms wrap around him, tight, and breathes Jackson in. Jackson’s sheets are fresh and he smells like wine and toothpaste and his cologne. Jinyoung can’t imagine that the taste of mint from the toothpaste and the wine they had would be a very good combination, but he’d try it now if it meant getting to kiss Jackson.

Which he won’t. Jinyoung has some semblance of self-control, even like this. Even with alcohol in his blood and Jackson right there, so close to Jinyoung with his wide, easy smile and his bare skin against Jinyoung’s. Even though it’s something he thinks about far more often than he should, the press of their lips and a hand in his hair and Jackson moaning into his mouth. More than that: sweat dripping down and the dig of nails into flesh and bruises sucked into skin, hands everywhere and kisses everywhere and–

And nothing else. _Self-control_ means not even thinking about any of that, not when they’re like this and there’s the excuse of alcohol, not when Jinyoung knows it would probably end up coming back to hurt him when they’re sober.

Neither of them say anything, and honestly, Jinyoung’s glad for it. He’s good at keeping feelings inside and out of sight, but he doesn’t know what would come out now, when chemicals have loosened his tongue and it feels like just about anything Jackson could possibly say would have him spilling out the contents of his heart.

Even just Jackson’s expression, his whole demeanour – the liquid warmth in his eyes and how loose he is like this – has Jinyoung wanting to talk, wanting to tell Jackson just how good he is, how important he is. How much he means to Jinyoung specifically.

Jinyoung would probably be safer with the light off. They’d also be able to go to sleep with the light off. When Jinyoung wriggles in Jackson’s arms, trying to move, Jackson whines and clings even more. At any other time, Jinyoung would let him win.

“I need to turn the light off,” Jinyoung says, because as much as he really would like to never have to move again, to fall asleep in Jackson’s arms and Jackson’s bed, there’s no way he’ll be able to do that with the light on. “Hey, you’re lucky I’m not making you do it.”

At that, Jackson concedes. He removes his arms from around Jinyoung, and Jinyoung leaves the bed to switch off the light. He almost falls face first onto the mattress on his way back, his shin knocking against the side of the bed, and while he’d usually be relieved that no-one else saw him embarrass himself, in this case, it’d be something for Jackson to poke fun of and for Jinyoung to pretend to be mad at, something between just the two of them.

In the darkness, Jinyoung climbs back in beside Jackson, climbs back into the warmth and safety of the bed. Jackson reaches out for him almost immediately, his arms just as tight as before and his face against Jinyoung’s shoulder.

“Goodnight, Jinyoungie.” Jackson’s voice is so close, right there in Jinyoung’s ear, breath tickling the skin, and Jinyoung hums his answer, closing his eyes.

Like this, Jinyoung’s always found, there’s never any way to tell how much time’s gone by. He listens to the way Jackson’s breathing, sure that Jackson must have fallen asleep already, but then Jackson’s ever so slightly shifting around behind him, as if _he’s_ sure that Jinyoung’s the one who’s asleep. Jinyoung does his best to stay very still, and very quiet. He relaxes his body and his breathing even more, and – _oh_.

Jackson’s mouth, his warm lips brushing against Jinyoung’s neck and then actually kissing him. It’s quick and it’s light and it’s gentle, but it’s definitely deliberate. Jinyoung fights to not make a sound, to not turn around in Jackson’s arms and find his mouth in the dark.

There’s still the drink to consider, the fact that this could only be a side-effect of that, but maybe it’s a sign that some of what’s there in Jinyoung’s mind – some of his fears and thoughts and feelings – is mutual, and right now, just knowing that is enough. He finds one of Jackson’s hands, the one at the end of the arm that’s slung over his side, and covers it with his own.

He hopes that’s enough to show what he feels, too.

**Author's Note:**

> i love these two so muuuuch!!! thanks for reading, everyone - you can also find me on tumblr @ vibetechs!!


End file.
